"All He Does Is Work"

Once, when my dad was still working, my mom complained and asked him why he was always out drinking with his officemates and his bosses. He retorted, "Why don't you try drinking every night? Let's see if it feels good!" Looking back at the conversation now, my mom realized that part of Papa's job was to rub elbows with his officemates, especially his bosses. It didn't necessarily mean that he enjoyed spending time away from his family. It was part of his climb to the top of the corporate ladder

From what I observed, husbands of our generation do not go out as much as our corporate dads (who went to night clubs in the 70’s or 80’s) did. However, they stay in the office late and even bring home work.

Some of us wives resent the fact that our husbands spend too much time in the office. We nag them for working too much and not allotting quality time with the kids. We want our men to be sensitive to our emotional needs even after a hectic day the office. We want them to pay attention to us, understand us, talk to us….when all they really want to do at the end of the day is, well, space out.

Men, especially husbands, probably get stressed with work more because, by nature, they are born “breadwinners”. Those who take this title seriously push themselves to provide their family with all the comforts of life. By doing so, they not only feed their loved ones but their egos as well.

Our husbands work hard. Maybe some of us wives even complain that all they do is work and think about work. It does not often occur to us that by working, our husbands really have us in mind. They are being corporate slaves because they want to become true to their roles as heads of their families. For some men, this is the only way they demonstrate how much they truly care for us.

Perhaps we wives should re-wire our brains to make ourselves believe that our husband’s hectic work life is a language of love. My theory is that by allowing ourselves to think this way, perhaps we can lessen the unnecessary feelings of stress and anger. We can focus our energies on other important aspects in our lives as wives, mothers and as women of the world.